Eulogy for James Gilmer, Jr

Our youngest son Bill gave a eulogy for his brother James at his funeral. He gave me a copy to share on my blog for others to read. James is pictured here last halloween in his Uncle Sam costume I made for him to wear Halloween 2008.
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Circus Clowns, Train whistles, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. John Philip Susa’s Stars and Stripes Forever,
Santa Claus, firecrackers, Baseball cards and Bugs bunny-
These were all things that brought a broad grin to James’ face.


From the moment of his birth at Opp hospital-to the day of his passing at Opp hospital, James’ life touched many people.
His handicap was both a burden and a blessing.
He was limited in capability, but unlimited in love.
He was limited in learning, but unlimited in teaching.
He taught us all about love.


James wasn’t one to taste his words before he spoke-they came right on out.
And you know, I don’t think he ever meet a stranger.
My Mom and Dad can tell you plenty of stories about that!


My brother meant something to each and every one of you, personally, even though James was older than me-he was always my “little brother”.
When we were toddlers, I’m told I use to be very jealous of James.
I thought he was getting all the attention.
But as I started passing him up in learning to walk, learning to read, learning to write,
I realized he wasn’t getting all the attention. He was getting all the attention he needed.
The time, the patience, the love that he needed to reach his potential. And he certainly did do that.


When we were kids growing up the little town of Paris Texas, I remember the times he followed me around to play with my friends and me. I was probably in the fifth, sixth, or seventh grade.


Some kids made fun of him, some kids were no long my friends. During those childhood years I became, his protector, I became his big brother. Just like Ronnie. I remember wrestling, and play fighting, and calling each other silly names like “rascally rabbit” as young kids; I was Batman and he was Robin. And I remember wrestling, and play fighting, and calling each other silly names like “rascally rabbit” just this past Christmas. I was Batman and he was Robin.
It was a blessing to still have a little brother at my age!


James did have a childlike nature, both a burden and a blessing.
As a parent myself, I can only stand in awe of the tremendous job my parents have done these past 52 years. The road was not easy, and there were many times I’m sure their patience was tried, but their love and their sacrifice brought a quality of life for James - One filled with security and joy, that only dedicated parents can provide.


James had a religious side too. I know he used to really enjoying coming to Church here, and going to vacation bible schools in the summer. I remember when he was baptized at the First Presbyterian Church in Florence, SC. Now some religious scholars may think that’s not appropriate, but I know he knew what he was doing! I’ll never forget when he came back to pew after his baptism; he looked at me and said, “Jesus Loves Me Too!” And just like the child’s song, I knew it was true.


Circus Clowns, Train whistles, Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
John Philip Susa’s Stars and Stripes Forever,
Santa Claus, firecrackers,
Baseball cards and Bugs bunny-
These will always mean James to me.
Let us be thankful for all the special moments that my brother has left us each. And with that, I know that James will continue to live on within our minds, and in all our hearts.


Your brother Bill

James Gilmer, Jr Dec 8, 1956 - Feb 2, 2009

I haven't been writing in my blog for awhile. Our son James had gall bladder surgery on Jan. 28 in Dothan. He was in the hospital for 3 days and came home on Jan. 30. He died at 8:30 pm on Monday Feb. 2 at Mizelle Hospital in Opp, AL after going there to the ER for evaluation for stomach pain.

So much has happened since that night that my head is still spinning. We had a lot of family coming from out of town, and today they have all gone home except only our oldest son from Austin, TX is still here and staying for a few days.

We are doing ok but I can't write too much today with his photo in front of me. More another time. I'll add a little every day until the events of the past few days are covered.

This photo was taken on his 50th birthday and he was 52 on Dec. 8, 2008. I forgot to mention that James was mentally challenged and lived at home.

January 21, 2009 - A Day in History

The Inauguration of the 44th President of the United States is a historic event for the U.S. and the World.

We got up early today to start watching the presidential inauguration events, beginning with the church service at 7 a.m. our time. And at 7 pm, 12 hours later, our TV is still showing the events of the day. And I presume the balls will be broadcast all during the night. How can the President and the First Lady keep going and going and going.

I have been to Washington, DC many, many time and toured all the government buildings. But I've never seen so many people in one place in my life. I can't imagine standing all morning while waiting for the swearing in. And they all looked so cold. But when interviewed, most said they came today in order to have this memory of seeing the first African American president sworn in.

This young family will bring new life to the White House, much as the Kennedy family did. Young families need good role models. The grandmother will be there to help the little girls grow up as she did her own daughter.

We all love celebreties and today we got to see a lot of them. I especially was moved by the benediction of Rev. Lowry. His prayer was from his heart!

If I got one central message from today's activities: "There is HOPE for everybody and we must all work to achieve all we can and move our country forward."

I can't believe there have been 13 President's in my lifetime.

Ladies and Gentlemen, and Children of all ages!

The Greatest Show on Earth!! We usually go to Sarasota, FL in the early spring so our son James can get a glimpse of the circus performers as they ready for their trip on the road. We just returned from Sarasota today where we spent a few days with my sister and her husband. James in photo wearing a white cap.

Sunday afternoon we went to St Armand's park near Lido Beach (downtown Sarasota, across the bridge), for a ceremony to add 5 circus members to the Circus Hall of Fame. We thought James would enjoy hearing the Sarasota Circus band perform - and he loved the music.

Sarasota has been the home of the circus for over 50 years. Many years ago we would take the boys to see my sister and she would drive them past the circus practice areas where they could watch them practicing walking on the tight rope in the front yards of their homes, as well as other acts.

Emmett Kelley Jr. lived not to far from my sister and James would get her to drive him past his house. He has a very large ring and autographed photo of Emmett Kelley. Later he switched favorites and became a fan of Lou Jacobs. His daughter Dolly was at the ceremony Sunday and her husband was inducted in the Hall of Fame. We left before we saw her.

James' favorite was a clown named Bello Nock of Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. He is shown here waving as he rides on an elephant during a pachyderm parade to mark the arrival of the circus March 24, 2008 in Washington, DC.

Bello was inducted into the Hall of Fame and announced his retirement from the circus. He spent several years traveling with the circus and performing sometimes 3 times a day, several months each year. I took this photo of Bello last Sunday. Wearing a suit instead of his usual clown costume, he wouldn't be reconized as Bello except for his "tall, red hair".

Five persons (or groups) were being inducted including the Flying Calvarettas - 4 sisters and a brother. They came from California for the ceremony.

It was so much fun watching the circus family embracing each other at this ceremony when they saw their old friends and co-workers. James came away a happy person for having been a part of a circus celebration. He will remember this for a long time. And he will have photos of this special day.

Home Demonstration Clubs

A trip to the Damascus community Senior Center this afternoon gave me the idea for my post on my blog today. I went there to present a plaque to the Damascus Home Demonstration Club for their volunteer service to the Coffee County Training Center in Enterprise. The center's director could not attend at the last minute and called to see if I would go in her place since I am a Mental Health Board Member and parent of someone who attends the Training Center.


Twenty seniors from the community still meet monthly as they did 75 years ago, in the 1940s.
My mother was a member of the Curtis Home Demonstration Club. These clubs were established by the Cooperative Extension Service to aid the rural families. I think the Damascus club is one of a few left in the south.


I remember so many things my mother learned and did at the club meetings. They met in homes and it was the social event of the month for the ladies. I can remember my mother baking and getting ready to host the club meeting. The extension agents would attend the meetings and teach them so many things. We could hardly wait for her to get home from the meetings and sometimes she let one or more of us go with her.


I remember when she learned to make peanut butter and the process she went through to do this. First we had to shell the peanuts and "parch" or roast them in the oven. Then we rolled the peanuts with our hands to loosen the thin husks and she winnowed them by holding the pan over a larger pan, outdoors, and the wind would blow the husks away. Then she fastened the food grinder (used to stuff sausage) to the edge of a table and we would grind the peanuts to the consistency of peanut butter. It was sooooo good. She added a little sugar and salt, and sometimes a little cooking oil if it was too stiff to spread.


I wrote in my blog about a year ago of lots of the activities that took place in the home demonstration clubs, i.e., making mattresses, chenille bedspreads, food preservation, etc.


Today I was recalling my memories of long ago while attending a modern day home demonstration club. Their refreshments reflected that they were all good cooks. They served healthy foods, along with a couple of homemade cakes.


To my surprise, when I walked into the room there was my neighbor from the street behind us. She grew up in Damascus and attends with her sister. I also knew two other ladies who were present.


I thanked them all for the Christmas party and gifts for our son James and his friends at Coffee County Training Center.  Then I spent a few minutes telling them about James and what it's like to have a 52-year-old "man child" in the home and the daily care he needs. Most of all he needs love and to feel secure. This makes him very happy.

Daughters - of a different kind

I belong to a group of daughters (Daughters of the American Revolution) and today was our annual meeting, a brunch at the Charleton House in Enterprise.


I became a member of the DAR when we were living in Winston-Salem, NC in 1980. My sister Christine and I became interested in our Smith ancestors when our cousin Harris Winston from Elba gave me a copy of our Smith family history that was printed in 1905. We were living not too far from Reidsville, NC where our ancestor came and settled on land he received for his bravery in the French and Indian War. We spent several months searching for the old family cemetery and finally we found it. Chris applied for membership in the DAR, using info we were able to obtain about John and Samuel Smith, who were Quakers from PA.


After Chris joined, she encouraged me to apply for membership, using her national number. Since that time, I have belonged to chapters in SC, AL, and GA - wherever we were living.
I am currently a member of the John Coffee DAR Chapter, founded in 1964 by Miss Eunora Farris from Elba. We are a very diverse group in ages, education, hometowns, interests, etc.
I have been a member of this chapter since 1996 and have met so many nice ladies. Most of our members live in Enterprise.


We all have one thing in common - genealogy and interest in our family history. We are a very patriotic group and work to promote patriotism in the schools and our country. Check out this website to learn more about the DAR: http://www.dar.org/


Looking around the room today, I recalled that many of the ladies were from military families and have lived all over the world. This makes for very interesting conversations when we get together. They especially enjoy presenting the ROTC medal every year to an Enterprise High School student.


This year we submitted 2 community service award applications. One has already made its way from local to state, to region, and now to the National Society of Daughters of the American Revolution and just last week we received the medal and a certificate to present to her.


Another set of papers has been submitted for the Just Folk Coffee House and volunteers . We are hoping they will both get a lst, 2nd or 3rd place at each level!!


Several members of our group will travel to Auburn in March to attend the state conference and our district in the SE will have duties to perform. Dress codes have changed over the years; no more hats and gloves and suits and high heels. While the dress code is still conservative and white gloves are worn to a couple of events, it is more contemporary fashion-oriented.


My sister and I attended the National DAR meeting in 1983 in Washington, DC. at the beautiful Constitution Hall. Check out this website for a virtual tour of the DAR Headquarters in Washington, DC.: http://www.dar.org/omni/virtualtours/hq/con_hall.html


I belong to several groups, organizations, clubs, etc. and they are all very different. DAR is one of my favorites. Maybe someday my 5 granddaughters will want to join and they can use my national number for membership, or they can use any of my 9 supplemental numbers for other ancestors I have documented. Actually my sister Christine did all the research for the additional ancestors and I was able to connect to her supplemental numbers. I have the most ancestors  of anyone in my chapter.


On my mother's side (Smith, Mayberry) I have the following Revolutionary patriot ancestors: Samuel Smith, NC; Nathaniel Allen, VA; James Spratling,VA; John Byars, VA; William Cole, VA.
Revolutionary Patriot Ancestors from my father's side (Wilson, Grimes) include these: Felix Frederick, NC; James Grimes,Sr.,NC; John Garrett, VA; James Wilson, GA; Stephen Darden, VA.

My Dream: A Safe Place for Children to Play in Elba

I grew up in a time when we played outdoors all day and occasionally would go to a surrounding town and see swings and a sliding board in a park area. Sometimes we would get to play on them for a short time and then would go home and make our own "park". We would have see-saws by placing a long board across a saw-horse and play for hours, or until the board would break! Our slide was usually a dirt slide down a red clay bank (for which we got into trouble). My favorite place to slide was the big sawdust pile near my dad's sawmill. We would climb the tall mountain of sawdust, get on a piece of cardboard and go flying down the tall hill. I can still smell the pine wood sawdust. Ahhh.. Swings were a big harder to make. Sometimes daddy would let us use one of his cotton ropes he used to attach to the harness of the mule when he plowed the garden. He would attach it to one of the big pecan tree limbs and we had so much fun pushing each other as high as we could, and then run underneath them.

One day a friend and I went to the woods and "sawed down" a big poplar tree to make a "flying Jennie". We had seen one at a friend's house and decided to build our own. After we got the tree to the ground, we couldn't figure out how to drag it about mile to the house so we had to leave it in the woods. So we forgot about that project.

A few years after the new Curtis school was built and I think I was in the 3rd or 4th grade, we got some playground equipment at the school. I think it included a metal slide and a few swings, and a real see-saw. We had to take turns to use the playground and my favorite thing was the sliding board. It was much nicer than sliding down dirt banks.

Over the years, we would take our children to parks and let them play on the equipment. We always had places for them to play in our yard, including tree houses. They would go outside and spent hours playing. Of course this was before we had TV or there were programs for kids to watch. 

I'm leading up to something very important to me. I have been part of a group who wanted a safe place for children to play in Elba. We raised funds in 2005-2006 to build a very nice playground at the site of the old Elba High School. It was built in one week by many volunteers.

We chose to use expensive plastic wood (made from milk cartons) and it had to be shipped from Minnesota. This increased the cost of the playground by about $50,000. But in the end it was worth it. No maintenance and no splinters as with treated wood, but it looks like wood and is beautiful.

For the past two years we have been seeking a grant to complete Tiger Town Park. Restrooms are needed, a large pavilion (for shade from the hot sun, as well as birthday parties for the little kids) and a concrete amphitheater that will seat 200 kids and will be attached the back of the old high school facade (which will be restored). The grant was approved and now the business of securing bids for a contractor has become a reality!! In the local Elba Clipper today there in the Legal section of the ads, is the advertisement for bids. I was so excited when I read that.

The winner (low bidder) will be announced at the first city council meeting in February and the contractor will have 90 days to complete the project.

So, by May 2009, Tiger Town Park should be completed. It is located downtown, near eating places, city hall, police station, library and the court house - all within walking distance. This will be something our city can be proud of for many years to come.