There is a "time" for everything

One of my favorite Bible passages is in Ecclesiastes 3:2; ... a time to be born and a time to die. I was thinking about that this week when John Mark Stallings (Johnny to us) died in Paris, TX. He and our son James attended the same school at one time when Gene Stallings was between coaching jobs and had returned to his hometown, Paris, TX.


Their school was a little white building near West Paris elementary school and it was appropriately named "The Little White School House". It was the only school for the mentally handicapped in Lamar County. I have a group photo someplace with Johnny in it. He is not in the photo 
pictured here. It was Boy Scout day when this photo was made. The 3 teachers are on the right end of the photo and James has on his coat and hood. Johnny was around 8 years old then and our son was 14 when Johnny was there. The teacher, Mrs. Cunningham, was Johnny's aunt. He was only at the school for about a year when Coach Stallings got a job and they moved. Our son never forgot about Johnny and over the years he would hear about him or see him on TV with his dad, and he would say, "There's my friend Johnny; I remember him!" 



Gene Stallings co-wrote a book about raising Johnny: Another Season: A Coach's Story of Raising an Exceptional Son and it paralled our lives so much. Until you've been in his shoes, you cannot believe the energy it takes to raise a "special" child. It often drains you, emotionally and physically. James is lucky because he is with us and we take care of him just as the Stallings family did for Johnny. But I think of all the other poor mentally handicapped children who don't have anyone. Many of his peers at the workshop he goes to every day have no family and live in group homes. Sometimes the families stop coming to see them and rely on others to take care of them. So sad...


Sometimes James amazes us with things he does. Recently his brother Bill send him a Burger King Crown card that he can use to buy cheeseburgers at his favorite restaurant. While James doesn't exactly know the value of money, he did figure this out. Last week we stopped at Burger King (he can only go once a week or he'd want to eat every meal there) to get a cheeseburger to take to church mid-week supper (he doesn't always like what we have to eat there). He had just received his card in the mail and I had tried to explain that he could use it until all the credit on the card was used up. One the way to the Burger King, he said he was going to buy onion rings, a cheeseburger, and a large Coke. Then when we got there, and we were getting out of the car, he announced that he was going to leave off the onion rings because they "cost too much" - he's heard me say this before so he wouldn't want to order them; and I didn't want him to have the calories. Then we got in the que to order and he decided to leave off the drink, so he would have money on his card for more cheeseburgers. He said he had a coke at home and could drink tea at church. I was amazed at how he figured all of this out. He has used his card 3 times now and makes sure I have put it in a safe place. He can get many more cheeseburgers - at least 15 or more.


He loves dollar bills rather than $5 or larger; because he has more bills. His Uncle Bob occasionally sends him a card with dollar bills inside. He saves them for a long time before he decides to spend some. Lately he gets $2 out of his billfold when they go bowling at work. He likes having his own money. The problem is sometimes he wants to share with his friends and we usually check to see how much money he has in his pocket when he leaves every morning.


Another "time to die" this week was for our 88 year old neighbor Mr. Manuel Jones, whose wife died in April this year. He died at home, alone, last Sunday afternoon. I will miss seeing him leaving early every morning in his red car, driving to the deli to get his breakfast. I waved to him last Sat. morning as he passed me on the street when I was returning from my morning walk. 


In my mind it's time for him to pass on; he was getting old. But Johnny was only 47.


I'm going to practice living life to the fullest every day I have left!!

Meeting the author of a good book I've read

Have you ever read a book so intense and descriptive that you would like to meet the author and hear how the book came about? That's what we plan to do on October 15 when we travel to Charlotte, NC for a few days. More about the author below.


Last year I was in a book club at our library and I suggested that we review "The Kite Runner" for one of our selections. I was so fascinated by the tale of the young Afghan who left his country after the Taliban took over and eventually came to California with his aging father. Before the Afghanistan war in recent years, I would have had to use an atlas to locate the country! But because of following the war on TV the past 3 years, I know where all of the areas are located and have a vivid picture in my mind of all the mountains and roads traversing them, weaving in and out of hills and valleys.


I didn't see how a movie could possibly be made from this book. It would be too violent! I wasn't disappointed in the movie when we saw in on DVD yesterday. We viewed it on wide screen tv in our living room. I didn't get up and leave the entire time. My favorite character was little Hassad, the servant's son and best friend of the rich boy Amir. That's all I'm going to say about the movie. Be sure to read the book before you see the movie. It will help since the entire movie has captions and it's a little difficult sometimes to read the pale yellow print at the bottom of the screen.


You can go to the author's website and read about him and another book he has written. I thought the Kite Runner was better. http://www.khaledhosseini.com/ Charlotte, NC's library program called "Novella" has several authors lined up in October 2008 to be a part of their Novella festival series: http://www.plcmc.org/novello/.  This is an annual affair.

Honoring my Great, Great Grandfather Grimes

Today Jim and I talked to Heath Wyrosdick, owner of Horizon Monument Company,  to discuss ordering a Civil War Military flat granite marker to place at the gravesite of my G-G-Grandfather John William Grimes who is buried in a Grimes family cemetery near Curtis community where I grew up.

Grimes Reunion

I never knew about this cemetery when I was growing up, nor had I ever heard of John W. Grimes. I doubt that my father ever knew about him either. My cousin Paul Grimes who lives in Jonesboro, GA always comes to our Grimes reunion the first Saturday in October every year. He has published a family history and we all consider him the Grimes authority. Paul's father and my grandmother were brother and sister, along with 11 more siblings.


My cousin Linda Westbrook and I decided one year to clean the old Grimes cemetery and invite our Grimes relatives to take their children to see the old tombstones there. No one has been buried there in many years. We got some inmates to help us one Saturday and we did more work than they did. We used clorox and soapy water to clean the tombstones ( later learned you don't use clorox on marble).


In recent years  money from a small cemetery fund has been used to pay someone to cut the grass and keep the cemetery clean. The chain link fence surrounding the small cemetery is starting to rust and we have to keep repairing it when trees or tree limbs fall across the fence.


Since we retired and moved to Alabama, we have researched several of our family lines and in the process, we discovered that John W. Grimes was a confederate war veteran. We got info about his regiment and where he served. We wrote to the national archives and obtained his CMSR (compiled military service record). He was a member of Co K, 57th Ala Infantry Regiment. The 57th joined the Army of the Tennessee and shared the hardships of the Dalton/Atlanta campaign.


He was born May 17, 1820 in Duplin Co, NC and died September 6, 1886 in Coffee Co., Alabama at age 66.  John William Grimes was married to Julia Ann Garrett who was born in 1827 in Montgomery, AL and died in 1903 in Covington Co., AL. They had several children and my great grandfather James Shorter Grimes was one of them. She is buried beside John William Grimes.


The flat marker will be placed at the foot of John William Grimes grave and a ceremony will be held to unveil the marker on the morning of October 4, 2008 when Grimes families gather for the Grimes reunion at New Ebenezer Baptist Church at Curtis community between Elba and Opp. The first Grimes reunion was held during WWI when the oldest son John was going to war and they gathered to tell him good-bye. The war ended soon after and he didn't have to go after all. The family continued to meet every year to celebrate Grandmother Grimes birthday the first Sunday of October. Later the date was set to meet on the first Sat. of October when more people could attend and not miss their church services on Sunday.


The New Ebenezer cemetery at Curtis was started when my grandfather James Shorter Grimes died from typhoid fever and his son John bought 2 acres of land from A.C. (Doc) Donaldson to start a cemetery. We have a copy of the deed for the cemetery. Several of James Shorter and Malissia Grimes sons and daughters and their Grimes families are buried in this cemetery, as well as my parents and we have a plot adjoining theirs.

Learning to Manage my Time

For over 50 years Jim has been trying to help me manage my time, but I was born with a "free spirit" and it's hard to harness! Poor Jim. He studied Time Management in college and spent all of his working career using these principles in his manufacturing operations. I don't know why I have always had trouble managing my time. I think maybe I was just rebelling when he tried to help me be more organized. I don't like being told what or how to do things.

I can have 20 or more projects going at one time, for years even. And this never stresses me out. I can put one away and move on to something else. An example is a family history about my Smith family that I have been revising and typing for at least 10 years. All I have to do now is proof read over 100 pages, single spaced, and prepare the index (Ughhh). It sits in a notebook under my desk and occasionally I look at it and think "Tomorrow" and put it back. I have so many files that need purging and pictures to get organized. I look at them and move on to something more interesting.

Today I viewed a video on Time Management and really understand what it is all about. I even took notes and am on the verge of making a "to do" chart. I hate To Do Lists; just ask my sister Susan. Jim likes to make To Do lists and put on the refrigerator and cross off things as he gets them done. Maybe I might try this or at least I'm thinking about it. 


I learned that you waste so much time when you don't have your files and desk organized. Guess what! I decided to tackle my desk this afternoon as the first step in managing my time.I took a picture of "before" and one "after". It's amazing how much "stuff" I had on my desk and how much I threw in the trash can when I cleaned. I only have essential things at hand now.

Step #1 has been completed, even before I made my To Do List. I will use the quadrant plan and list things to do now (most important), and important things to do later. Then I will do the unimportant things. This will take a little time to separate things to do and prioritize them.

All the time I used the excuse of being a senior citizen and forgetting where I put things when I lose something. Not anymore. I will put things in alphabetical order where I can locate them, and not leave papers scattered all over the place. I will not write phone numbers or addresses on the back of envelopes and lose them; I have a spiral notebook to take down messages, etc. No longer will I have to look through the trash can to find notes I have written down.

Enough about my plan for being more organized. I'll report on my progress later. I will leave time for creative projects, reading good books, watching movies, and doing things as the "spirit moves me". One of my favorite songs is "Don't Fence Me In".

Making Myself Valuable to Others

Randy Pausch and wife Jai
Dylan, Logan and Chloe
in 2007

On September 18, 2007, computer science professor Randy Pausch stepped in front of an audience of 400 people at Carnegie Mellon University to deliver a last lecture called “Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams.” With slides of his CT scans beaming out to the audience, Randy told his audience about the cancer that is devouring his pancreas and that will claim his life in a matter of months. On the stage that day, Randy was youthful, energetic, handsome, often cheerfully, darkly funny. He seemed invincible. But this was a brief moment, as he himself acknowledged.

Randy’s lecture has become a phenomenon, as has the book he wrote based on the same principles, celebrating the dreams we all strive to make realities. Sadly, Randy lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on July 25th, 2008, but his legacy will continue to inspire us all, for generations to come.

In April he had a book published (The Last Lecture) which contained material from his last lecture as well as a lot of other family information. He wrote (with the help of a Wall Street journalist) the book for his 3 young children. It has been a #1 best seller non-fiction since it came out April 2008. 

His teaching methods were certainly different and kids loved his classes in computer science and media. I really enjoying seeing some of the works of his students displayed in the Last Lecture presentation.


He was such an inspiritational speaker and had so much to say in the short time he had left on this earth after he learned of his terminal illness. He didn't want people feeling sorry for him. One thing he said really struck a cord with me: "Be good at something. It makes you valuable."


I sat at my desk with my pen and paper trying to think if I was valuable to anyone and what I was "good at". At first my mind was blank and then I started remembering. I am good at sewing and learned that skill at an early age. I recently taught our 12-year-old how to sew. Our grandchildren have called on me to make various costumes for plays, halloween, etc. I always come through, having once made a Queen Elizabeth costume complete with ruff at the neck for a book report Liz was giving at school, and sending it to Texas overnight. She won first place of course! At least I am valuable to our 5 granddaughters. They think I can do most anything and don't mind asking. Even when one wanted to be a pack of chewing gum for halloween. I have enjoyed teaching each of them to sew.


Another sewing project involved using some old light green draperies to make a Statue of Liberty costume for my friend to wear as part of a "save the Lady" program she and I did for the DAR when they were restoring the statue. My friend wore the costume at a travel convention later and her husband went as Uncle Sam. They won first place which was a trip to Bermuda. And she brought me back a beautiful cutwork tablecloth, napkins and place mats. I created an orange jacket for our son to wear to school, with an orange decorated necktie and white pants for school spirit day when he was in high school. I really think this helped him to win the title: Mr. School Spirit (Paris, TX).


When Jim and I moved to the farm after he retired in 1996, we bought a computer and taught ourselves how to use it. Very frustrating at first but we accomplished what we wanted to know and now each have a computer. Our friends call on us when they want to know how to do something; Jim more than me. We are always willing to share what we know and to do things for others. I guess this makes us valuable because most people our age are computer illiterate - and they don't know what they're missing.


I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I am always willing to share things I know and use the skills I have, to help others.  I revisit my priorities often and make changes when I need to.


Another point he discussed was to always look for the good in other people. Sometimes that is very difficult when there's so much bad! Several years ago I started doing this and have made some really good friends who are people that nobody else understands. I always try to look for their good points. It's funny that they are usually outspoken, critical people and I can overlook those traits and find the good points. Some of these have remained best friends over the years and we keep in contact. Once you win over these people, they are friends forever because they can trust you.


Randy Pausch was an admirable man. I watched as he talked about his students and how he tried to motivate them to learn. They in turn really admired him. He really cared about them.


His life reminds me of a plaque I have in our kitchen (my motto) -- 

Stairway to the Stars!

Recently our son Ron and his wife Cindy moved to a new house on top of a mesa (flat hill) in southwest Austin, TX. They had been looking for more yard space for a long time, away from all the traffic in NW Austin where they have lived for over 20 years. Both girls are in college now and they don't have to live near schools, swimming pools, movies, etc. that the girls liked. So I guess they felt it was time to do what they wanted to do for a change.

Now to the point. They sent us pictures of their beautiful new home and I really admire the spiral staircase going to the second floor, which is a huge loft or media room. I don't know if I'll ever make it all the way up there as I have a fear of heights and swoon when I go to the 4th step on our small ladder. I get dizzy when I look down from above. They might have to install an elevator just for me!! When we were much younger, I wanted spiral staircases in a couple of houses we lived in; one to go to the basement and another to get to the attic. But we never did install them. I guess we probably moved before we ever got around to adding the spiral stairs.

Coffee House stairway

Then there's the new iron staircase that a local artisan made for the Just Folk Coffeehouse on the square in Elba. The treads haven't been put on the steps yet so I couldn't test it out today when we were there for a luncheon. Also the floor at the top of the stairs hasn't been installed yet either. So I just stood there and looked at this beautiful piece of art.

We have had stairs in many of our homes but they were always just straight, never curved or spiral. When we moved from Florence, SC to Albany, GA and traded our 2-story house for a ranch style home with windows that went almost from the ceiling to the ground, I had trouble sleeping near the ground. We always slept upstairs and it was quieter there.

I'm waiting for the first opportunity to go to Austin and  try out these "stairways to the stars" someday soon. I wonder if I can make it all the way up, and if once I'm upstairs, will I be afraid to come back down? I'll guess I'll just have to wait and see!

New Life left in our old Frig

We bought an old model refrigerator a few years ago to keep in our storage building to use for overflow from the kitchen frig. It has served us well and we always have food stored there. One day last week Jim opened the door to go into the building, and heard a whining noise that was getting louder and louder. He realized it was the frig and unplugged it. We took the food out and left the refrigerator unplugged while we searched for another one.


Yesterday Jim saw one on the local internet "Sell or Swap" and called to check on it. The seller said it was in good condition and he told her he would like to have it. She posted some pictures for him to see. Today he hitched up the trailer and he and my brother Perry took off to neighboring Florala to check it out. He was so disappointed when he got there and saw the dirty refrigerator sitting on the back porch of the mobile home. It was unplugged and he told the young man he wanted to plug it in to see if it works. And it wouldn't come on. So..... Jim came home without the refrigerator.


My brother suggested Jim remove the panel inside the freezer and check out the fan to see if maybe it needed replacing. Jim is not a mechanic and a project like this is so foreign to him. But he managed to locate and remove the small plastic fan that was making the noise. A little WD-40 and cleaning and he put the fan back in and guess what! It's running again and cooling. And then someone told him to rub vaseline along the rubber seal on the door and that would make it close tighter. It's been several hours now and the good old trusty frig is still cooling and the fan is quiet. And it hasn't cost a dime to repair it. Maybe we're lucky that the one he was going to buy didn't work after all. Saved us lots of $$$.


Everybody needs a second refrigerator if they live in the south. To keep canned drinks, extra milk, fruit and vegetables that need to stay cool, and many other things that won't fit in the kitchen frig. We can even put watermelons on the big bottom shelf.


Hurrah for my "mechanical" husband - maybe this will be a new career for him. He has been ordering replacement parts online and repairing other things around the house. He prints out manuals to help him with his repairing. We used to discard things that stopped working and buy new ones. Now he is spending time trying to repair things and it's so rewarding to gets things "fixed up" and working again.

I still haven't figured out how to put a hanger on the top of my little Pinochio "jumping jack" that I keep hanging in the kitchen window. You pull a string and he flaps his legs and arms. I really would like to have a string hanging from the top of his hat instead of having the hook around his neck! Maybe Gorilla glue will work?